What is my value as a woman?
I’ve been thinking about this lately.
I feel as if I’ve pushed myself into many boxes over the years that haven’t been mine.
I’m individuating from those spaces and it’s been a painful process, a process of unraveling and confusion. Not knowing what’s happening to me.
I feel so untethered.
My being “a certain way,” the physical looks that have felt the definition of me feel unimportant now. Lacking substance and value. It’s strange to feel this way after years of so called “knowing” myself.
I’m learning how to let myself be. Just be without the need to change.
To let my body settle. To let it become something else in its own time.
To just allow.
I’m tired of exhausting myself by being something I am no longer.
What a strange feeling. Transformation. Especially the in between. Not your old self and still discovering who you are becoming.
Empty at times. Very full during other moments.
Release, tears, with an eternal knowing change is underway.
Although this feels like a stagnant place, deep down I know there is movement here.
Steady growth beneath the profound discomfort.
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